Once You Go Clown…

With admiration for professional and amateur clowns who take pride in providing public entertainment and upholding the good name of clowns as performance artists, I want to share my feelings on clown kinks, clowning and my clown personas, acknowledging the distinct difference between playful past-times and the public figures that come to mind when we talk about clowns.

Clowns have served a varied role worldwide and throughout time. They illustrate the myths we make in our societies and explore, sometimes turning them on their heads, the power dynamics we create, as well as the ones we pretend don’t exist. From Sacred Clowns to royal fools, Harlequinade and Pagliacci to modern circus acts and independent entertainers, clowns have been a vessel for character and societal examination. They are allowed, even expected to be overtly emotional, selfish, blunt, clumsy and even violent, letting us vicariously enjoy their misbehavior.

Clown fear is very real as we’ve seen from this year’s rash of “creepy” or “killer” clown sightings.  I have had friends need to excuse themselves from birthday parties I have been invited to clown for during birthday spankings because they weren’t prepared for their emotional response when put face to face with a clown. I have had requests to just wear my nose rather than show up in full clown gear so I would not scare family or even pets since the mindfuck of being faced with clowns wasn’t their idea of fun. Aside from the unsettling makeup and body shape due to clothing and padding, Clowns have a certain freedom from constraints we live under in our day to day lives. the freedom to act out, to be overtly sexual or violent with one another gives them power, and what, really is going to stop clowns from breaking the fourth wall of performance and use their power on us? That fear of what seems  like controlled chaos becoming true chaos lets us assign ill intent, enormous strength and stamina, and even supernatural ability to clowns like we do with iconic horrors like PennyWise, Captain Spaulding, and Killer Klowns.

As for myself, a little bit of creepiness goes well with my kinks.This fall everyone was talking about creepy clowns sightings like we had an epidemic of horror rising and I was over in my little corner of the world snorting at headlines while being turned on by clips like this.

BDSM and kinky play have long been an outlet for me to explore human relationships, societal roles and the many archetypes we encounter daily and hold up as ideal or taboo. Imagination gives me license to turn my musings into play, enriching me as I examine my own as well as others’ understanding of the subject we’ve chosen for a scene. Clown kink became a natural extension of this function of my BDSM practices.


Once you start to incorporate clowning with BDSM play, you may end up turning your favorite fantasies into a proverbial fun house. Clown play can lend a healthy dose of the absurd to otherwise “serious” play. The bounds of the “reality” that is often created in a role playing scene become stretched out and surreal.  Clown play can add comic relief to a fantasy that might otherwise be intimidating, easing you into uncomfortable circumstances with a lighthearted touch. In my own dungeon, I have used light clowning to help some playmates maintain a headspace where they can handle overwhelming sensations or certain forms of pain with more ease than they might when receiving a colder interrogational or disciplinary attitude from me. As a being that is traditionally exempt from societal norms and constraints and therefore seen as powerful or dangerous, a clown can be a formidable role for a top to assume in scene, I have been taken by surprise by the power that is lent by the role on occasion.



My first experience with clowning and kink was a birthday party for a circus clown in Portland four years ago. I had not known before this party how sexy and fun clowning could be. The venue was filled with clowns of all sorts and sizes – Mostly white face. There was tell of performance by a mime – “roughed up” and costume torn to bits for coming to the wrong party by security clowns. Costume was a must to remain at the party, an assortment of greasepaint and pallets were available to touch up or transform attendees. Birthday spankings were conducted with a variety of objects including balloon animals, a rubber chicken, and other oddments along with more traditional items.  Some clowns wound up from the spanking spectacle offered up their own behinds for others’ amusement, including myself. I got to cross gagging on a certain rock and roll clown‘s dick while spanked by a line of clowns off my bucket list before I knew I wanted to add such a specific kink. After a pie fight between all attendees, the festivities devolved into an orgy covered in banana cream and greasepaint. Clown faces were half smeared off, and wigs pulled askew as costumes came off…. It was filthy, unsettling and unforgettable.

Since then I’ve looked for any excuse to clown around, kinky or not. Often I’ll keep a nose tucked in my pocket or shirt and pull it out to lighten the mood or surprise my friends. Children are delighted to see a clown shopping for her groceries. Noses are a hit at parties and I almost always bring a few to hand out. I usually find several foam noses while rummaging through my purse for lip balm or change since I have a habit of picking up a spare on the way out the door.
The day I committed to clowning.
I have attended more kinky birthday and holiday celebrations, dishing out and receiving my fair share of spankings along the way. I’ve also had the occasional pleasure of sharing my clown kink with role players in my dungeon. Much of my clown play as a Dominatrix revolved around birthday spankings and disciplinary scenes, but on occasion, I would get some rather creative requests from role players. An adventurous soul requested a scene a few years back that took me out of my comfortable birthday clown routine and pushed me to play with horror and the surreal in a medical fantasy setting. Having plenty of time to prepare and stretch my imagination I was able to create an unforgettable immersive scene for my playmate and myself, and gain another perspective for intergalactic role playing.

Those who learn of my interest in clowning sometimes ask how I differentiate from casually clowning around, public appearances and my own kinky play. Much like everyday life, my clowning involves knowing what is appropriate for any given time and place and acting accordingly. Derived from the ever popular Evil Clown and hyped up Manic-Pixie-Dream-Girl, my own clown personas I have had over the years have different incarnations depending on what is needed for individual settings, be it family friendly public appearances or private play.


With my clown personas, I have an exhibitionistic streak, but my ethics and personal boundaries lead me to keep my interaction with the public to a polite minimum when I do go on walkabout. I prefer to costume myself appropriately for my intended venues, leaving obvious fetish gear where it belongs: In a dungeon.  When in public places I will say hello and allow my photo to be taken, but I do not go out of my way to engage in conversation or play pranks on passers-by, or otherwise be disruptive. I enjoy participating in costume friendly events such as charity walks, flash mobs and conventions, but I remain a fairly reserved clown in public out of respect for other clowns who enjoy their work and art as public entertainers. With cyclical news of “Creepy Clowns ” and a dearth of newly registered clown entertainers, I think they have a hard enough time as is.